We are in the process of moving into our new-old-apartment.  New because it is has new carpet, new flooring, and a new refrigerator.  Old because this is the apartment we lived in before the flood, the apartment in fact that was flooded.  So we have some of the old with some new mixed in.  We are moving back in all of our stuff, and getting some new stuff to mix in with it.

Yesterday our brand new bedroom set arrived!  A brand new bedroom set to to go with the brand new carpet in the old bedroom.  Same sheets though.  I even dug out an old quilt we had stored away because the comforter we had on the bed at the day of the flood got ruined.  Soon I will rehang the plate my grandmother made nearly 70 years ago.  So we have new, old, and even older all mixed together.  Isn’t that kinda like what all our houses probably look like?  Look around your house-what is new, old, and older?  There is likely something of every category.  It is what makes your house feel like your home.

I bring this up because last night I watching the Dove awards and was just delighted.  Delighted for many reasons.  Partly because I was watching people who were being who God asked them to be, watching people who were aspiring to allow Christ to shine through them.  I was also delighted because I was allowed to be delighted by every style of worship from new to old to older.  I was able to see others experience worship in a way that inspires their hearts to see God, whatever that style might be.

When we have things in our home that are new old and older, then we feel like we are home.    When we worship we experience the ability to be closer to God, closer to Him and we get a tiny bit of what it will be like to spend eternity with Him.  When we worship we feel a little closer to home.  When we allow those around us the right to use whatever style of worship that allows their heart to see God, then we are allowing them to feel closer to home.  Worship is about lifting up our Lord and putting Him in His proper position, and if we are so focused on doing that that we feel closer to home then we have accomplished worship.  Whatever style of music, wether we deam it new old or older, if we decide it isn’t acceptable we block someones path to lifting up the Lord and feeling closer to home.

We would never tell someone they couldn’t make their house their home by putting things in it that made it feel like home because they were to new or too old?  We wouldn’t.  That is why I was so delighted to see a celebration of every style of music at the Dove awards last night, wether you call it new, old, older, too old, or too new-it is worship and it makes people feel closer to home.

So once again I will be splitting my time between two apartments for a few days.  Half of my stuff is in one apartment and half in the other while we move back into the newly refinished and fixed apartment that was once flooded.  It is so nice! New carpet, new flooring, and I even got a new refrigerator.  Over the next couple of days things will be interesting again as I slowly move my things back into that apartment where I feel like I belong, but still having to spend some of my time here in the temporary apartment as not all of my stuff was moved today.

Actually, that feeling like I was in one place but belonged somewhere else has been that way the last few weeks since we moved into this temporary apartment.  It hasn’t been quite right because it isn’t the same size or place.  All of our stuff isn’t in the same place, and all the stuff that got flooded-well it wasn’t yet replaced.  Also, knowing we were going to move back into our apartment made it hard to make this feel like home-we didn’t take down all the pictures and bring them over or bring over all the things that have those memories we cherish.  All the things that did get brought over didn’t even make it out of the boxes!  We always knew we were going to move back-so why take everything out of the boxes unless we had too.

We all want to feel like we belong where we are.  Yet, as believers we will have this feeling of not belonging all of the time.  Christ tells us in John 15:19 that we do not belong to the world, but to Him.  So why should we be surprised when we feel some sense of not belonging when we are still in the world?  We shouldn’t, because we are not where we belong!  Quite the opposite really, if we are getting to comfortable and feeling like we are perfectly happy sticking around here forever-we might want to evaluate if we have lost sight of the hope that we have in Christ.  We belong to Chirst, and we are going to feel an amazing sense of belonging when we are in His presence for eternity.  That is the hope of our calling, to spend eternity with Him, and in my view there is no better place to belong then that. (Titus 3:5-7)

If you haven’t read my earlier posts you missed the story about the flood!  You may or may not want to read it because it wasn’t just water and some people just don’t like the thought of those things.  This whole process has been very interesting to me from start to finish.  This week we got to go shopping and replace most of the things that were lost.  If you read my early post there was quite a list, and though we have not replaced all of it, we have replaced the largest pieces.  It was fun to go shopping, to know we could simply walk into a store, choose a new bed, a new table, a new hutch, and replace what was lost.

Through this process I realized that our insurance has been rather amazing to us.  We pay them every month for the assurance that one day if something were to happen then they would swoop in and take care of us.  We pay them for the promise and we trust they will fulfill it when the need arises.  We pay them to keep a promise to us later.  They have kept that promise to us.  Not everything we own is replaceable though.  For instance if my box of photographs for which only one copy exists had been destroyed we would not get them back, they don’t fall under that promise because there is no back up plan for those things.

So then I started to think.  God makes promises to us.  There is a big difference here though-we never had to pay Him to make those promises to us!  Amazing isn’t it.  Quite the opposite really, He made those promises not only without us doing anything-He made them when we didn’t even deserve it.  Then I thought to myself, there is also no back up plan, His promises are the only plan He has made.  He did that for a reason.  He wants us to trust His plan.

That plan is Christ and what He did for us on the cross.  When we trust in that plan we are trusting in the promises God has made to us and trusting that He will fulfill the promises He made to us.  There is no back up plan.  So I thought further.  There is no other plan for what is lost.  Like those pictures those who are lost need a plan with promises that will be fulfilled that they can trust in to save them from being lost.  Those pictures, nothing can be done about them.  Those who don’t know about Gods plan, that, something can be be about.  The question to ask yourself is are you counting on some kind of back up plan?  No back up plan can replace Gods plan.

Last Monday was a big day, March 31st.  An anniversary that most people would never want to celebrate, and never would imagine calling an anniversary.  March 31st is the anniversary of my right temporal lobectomy.  The date on which I was given the chance to become seizure free, get some semblance of normalcy in my life.  The day we took a large step of faith at the last opportunity for me to be well again.

On March 31st 2008 I had a surgery that we knew was a percentage game, a percentage game we were willing to take because there were no other solutions left for what I was experiencing ever day of my life.  A 40% chance of being seizure free and  a 90% chance of a great reduction in seizures was better then doing nothing–which was  a zero% chance of ever being seizure free.  So I had a surgery I knew would change other things about my life because those could be dealt with, adjusted to, and were better then what I was living with at the time.

Now one year later I live a life that is different then before I got sick, but better then before I had my surgery.  So would I say I am “cured”? No–for there is no cure for epilepsy.  What I would say is that my life is better for the choice I made, because choosing to do nothing would have been a choice to give up, to decide to be defeated by an illness that was taking my life slowly.

Now I am learning to live the new life given to me by God through a set of circumstances He used to mold me into who I am today.  I am doing what He has asked me to do, using the experiences I went through for His glory.  I certainly wouldn’t choose to go through what I went through if I could have avoided it ahead of time, but now that I see how God molded me thorugh it I wouldn’t give it back.

So as that one year mark came and went it wasn’t about what I went through or what I had experienced.  I am amazed by how God has used it, what God is doing now with it, and I know God is going to keep using it in ways I don’t yet expect or imagine.

Sunday March 22nd my family and I were in Tooele all day as we have been the last several Sundays.  We are there for church in the morning and Cantata practice in the evening.  After making the 100 mile drive home we walked in the front door to find that while we were gone there had been a flood-not a water flood-but a sewage flood.  It seems that the sewer line under our complex backed up, and the place it primarily came out was our master shower!  It also came out in our primary bathroom.  Our master bathroom, primary bathroom, master bedroom, hall closet, entryway, dining room, kitchen, and a portion of our living room were flooded.

What was destroyed in the mess?

-Our entire master bedroom set including my mothers heirloom hope chest

-Our dining room set

-The large hutch in our dining room

-Our entertainment stand

-Various things such as rugs, shoes, clothes in the hamper, the vacuum broom and mop, and all sorts of little things

What wasn’t destroyed despite the mess?

-Our family

-Gods provision for our family

-Our belief that the Lord is unchanging and will be glorified no matter what circumstance we are in

So we spent several days in a hotel while we moved what wasn’t in the mess to a smaller unit that was available, dealt with our insurance who is going to replace our belongings, and dealt with the complex management who informed us the total clean up would take 2-4 weeks.  We are a week and half in at this point and things are moving along well.

For now we are asking God what He wants us to do with this, what He is telling us, what steps He wants us to take next.  Through this He is still the same God He has always been.  Regardless of our changing circumstance He is an unchanging God-the one consistent in our lives we can always count on.  So despite the mess if we remain in His will standing firm on His promises we will withstand the flood.