2 minutes that sets me back 6 1/2 months.  How does that work?  6 1/2 months ago I had my 4th post operative seizure which reset my 90 day count to get my driving privileges back.  Then-90 days later I accomplished that milestone and got my drivers license back after having not driven for over 2 years!  Yesterday that 90 day count started again-so I step backwards and start counting again.  Though I regained my driving privilege in December-I lost it yesterday in the very short span of 2 minutes when I had my 5th post operative seizure.

For those of us with epilepsy driving becomes more than an ordinary privilege, it is a trophy.  It is the proof that we are seizure free, and that we have defeated our condition.  If we have a seizure again we lose that privilege and we are reminded every day for the time period set by the law that for a short period of time-2 minutes in this case-our disease defeated us and all the steps we take to beat it.  This daily reminder for me is more than just an “I cant drive” or “I had a seizure” reminder.  It reminds me that it matters not what attempts I make to fix this body, to make it last, to put it in perfect condition-that is not going to happen!  Even if I get to the point where I become seizure free for life-my body will still not be imperishable.  So I am thankful.  Thankful for what?  Thankful that this is not the body that I am going to keep for eternity.  God is going to give me an imperishable body when I inherit the Kingdom of God. (1 Cor 15:44, 1 Cor 15:50)

So that 2 minutes sets me backwards.  I will once again have to rely on others to drive me everywhere.  I will not be able to hop in the car in the middle of the day to go to the grocery store.  My husband will need to take his break at the appropriate times to get our son home from school again.  I will have more to be thankful for when I no longer have this body!

2 Comments

1. 

   I am still speechless today. I get teary-eyed every time I think about this step back. I know it won’t hold you back, because that isn’t the way you look at this life or this body. You can only go forward from yesterday. Toward that trophy day again. Your strength inspires me. Your sweet hubby & Bryan take such good care of you. Mike sounds so much like my husband. “in sickness & in health”. They do it all, with never a complaint. Only with love. Well, sometimes a little impatience-usually deserved! We are lucky in this life that God put such men in our lives. Rest & let your brain heal. 🙂

   Comment by Shellie (baylormum) — May 2, 2009 @ 7:01 pm

2. 

   Yes-my husband and son do take good care of me. The Lord gave me a man committed to stand by me regardless of what this life might bring because he knows that the Lord holds us together. It amazes me sometimes that he has been able to withstand all of it, but I know that he walks strongly in the Lord and that is what gives him the ability to endure the trial.

   Comment by race_12_1 — May 2, 2009 @ 8:46 pm

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