Over the last few weeks I have been challenged to evaluate what my primary responsibilities are.  This is not the first time I have had this challenge, and not the first time I have come to the same conclusion.  I was challenged because the enemy was not thrilled with what I was doing, and as always when he is not happy he tries to throw me off track!  Today is the perfect day to share this, for it is my husband’s birthday.

Now I will preface this by saying that I have been both a working wife and mother, and at home.  Neither one of these is more Godly then the other, what is however is where our priority lies regardless of which we choose.  Several years ago when I was working something happened in my life that made me question where my priority was, and where it should be.  I came to a pretty distinct conclusion, and now today I know my conclusion was right and am glad I determined myself to change my priority.  This is not about whether you do anything in particular, work or not, whether you’re a parent of 1 or 6 or even none, whether you home school or not, what kind of car you drive, or if you vote.  This is about what God intended when we are married.

When I faced that challenge I concluded this, that my primary responsibility as a wife is to support my husband in his ministry and ensure he is able to complete it without hindrance.  That I must ensure that he has the time to do it, the resources to do it, and the support in prayer to do it.  That regardless of what I do about working or what ministry I am in, I must always ensure he is able to do his ministry.  This may mean I need to work to support us, it may mean I need to be home ensuring all things are done to free his time for his ministry.  It may mean spending money on things that will support his ministry rather then buying what I would choose.  It most definitely means not doing anything that would cause him to stumble.

When I first figured this out I was working, and it was difficult for me to change my thought process.  At the time I thought we should both be equally responsible to do everything, and that he had to sacrifice as much as I did.  The reality is I was making him compromise to get what I wanted, which meant I was not supporting him in his ministry.  I discovered that by freeing his time to do his ministry, and being his helpmate in it, we were stronger.  Now that I am home all the time I have concluded that supporting him in his ministry is still my primary responsibility, not cooking, laundry, dishes, and other chores.  Yet, by being the one that does the dishes, the laundry, the cooking, and those other annoying things like cleaning the bathroom, I am allowing him to have the time he needs to prepare for and do his ministry.  I can not expect him to be successful in his ministry if I also expect him to do things I can easily do while he is at work.

The most important support I can give, over anything else, is prayer.  Without prayer all the other things are insufficient to ensure he can do his ministry.  So in the midst of cleaning, laundry, cooking, or any other thing I might be doing, if I think of him I lift him to the Lord.  Do I dare ask when was the last time you prayed for your spouse?

This past Sunday something happened in church that made me evaluate again what my primary purpose is.  My husband was voted to be a deacon at our church.  People were telling me congratulations, which meant nothing since it wasn’t me who was chosen, it was him.  I began to think “this means what to me?”  I thought back to something I decided a few years ago.

A few years ago something happened in our life that made me come to the conclusion that as a wife and mother my primary responsibility was to support my husband in his ministry.  That my primary responsibility is to ensure he has the time, resources, and support to complete the task before him.  Yes I have my own ministries, yet as a wife those come second to supporting him in his.  I must be willing at times to make sacrifices in things I may want, to ensure he has what he needs to accomplish his task.  I must always be evaluating if I am doing anything that hinders his time or causes him to stumble.  I need to ask myself if I am making sure he has the time to complete his task rather then filling all his time with a to do list, things I want done.  I must support him with my energy and with our resources so that the task before him is light.

After making this my primary responsibility the last few years, I have decided that this decision means the same thing to me.  As a wife I find joy in seeing my husband succeed in what God has laid before him, so if I make it impossible for him to do so I steal joy from both of us, as well as cause the body of Christ to suffer because he is not succeeding.  This means what to me?  That I need to continue in doing what I have been doing, supporting my husband so he can do what God has laid before him.  At times that really can just mean I don’t ask him to do dishes, and I make sure his laundry is done, so those things I will do and do with joy knowing I am making it possible for him to do what God has asked of him.