I have been through quite a journey in the past 3 1/2 years.  In the fall of 2005  I started a Rocky Road that took me on an unpredictable medical path.    He brought me to live in a place I would not have chosen on my own, and I was forced to give up my own independence.  Years ago I chose my online nick race_12_1 based on the scripture Hebrews 12:1-2.  Now I look at another scripture and remember I need to keep moving in my race, continue pressing on toward my prize.

Philippians 3:12-14 says “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:12-14 NIV)

I need to remember that what has happend to me in the past 3 1/2 years is only part of what God has in store for me.  It is only a portion of the race He has me on to mold me into the person He intends me to be.  His plan is to mold me into the likeness of Him (Rom 8:29).  Eventually when I complete my race, reach the goal, and win the prize, I will be completly molded into that likeness.  For now I press on in my race knowing that God is still molding me in this next part of the race.  I look forward with excitement to whatever He is going to do next, because I know that Gods plans are greater then whatever I could come up with on my own!

Last week I was in the hospital for one day having “hardware removal”.  Sounds strange until you know my medical history, including the fact that I have titanium pins and screws in my head.  One of these pins and two screws were removed because they were coming loose.  This was causing pain of course, and they were removed with the hope that the pain across the right side of my head would go away.  I won’t know the outcome of this until the staples are removed.

It is interesting, when we are in pain, what we are willing to go through to have it go away. At times the means of getting rid of the initial pain are worse then the inital pain itself.  Going in the operating room, and walking around with staples in my head is not easy task, however in the end it should be worth it if the pain caused by the loose screw goes away!

With God there have been times in my life when He was trying to strip something from my life because it didn’t reflect Him that seemed terribly painful at the time, but in the end turned out to be well worth the result!  These can be superficial things, emotional attachments, all sorts of things.  One thing that he had to take from me to bring me to where I am today was the pride I held in the accomplishments in my career.  My job was a trophy to me.  The job itself was not the issue, it was the status I placed on it, the position I gave it in my life.  God tells us to put nothing before Him.  I was doing that.  I was finding my joy in something other then Him.  I could not do that on a long term basis and continue running the race He laid out for me without crumbling.

Having God place me on His anvil and strip that pride from my heart was painful.  I did not want to admit it, to show God that I was wrong, to admit that though I knew I was suppose to put Him first I was not always doing that.  In the end when I finally did, something amazing happened.  I began to find a joy that could only come from having a solid relationship with Chirst that was consistent, and from having put Him first always.  It is not an easy task to have Chirst mold us on His Anvil sometimes.  The Anvil has been painful at times, especially when God has reached into the depths of who I have identified myself as.  However, the results have always been well worth it!