Written Sunday December 14th 2008

Wronged, hurt, crying.  More then just a surface blow.  Something that rocked me, makes me question why I trusted.  Then no apology.  Forgiveness does not depend on an apology, though I want one and wait for one.  That is something I have been doing the past several days.

Years ago God taught me how to forgive when no apology was given or ever likely to come.  It was a hard lesson to learn.  So what makes this time different?  The previous lessons dealt with past hurts and non believers.  Now I need to apply that same lesson to a new deep hurt that was put there by a believer.  Applying that same lesson becomes difficult because somehow I expect more from another believer. I forget that just like I can mess up, they can to.  When they do just because they won’t apologize does not mean I am not obligated to forgive them.  If the apology never comes some of the hurt may always sit there, waiting to heal, but forgiveness does not depend on that.

If I do not apply the lesson God taught me years ago to this situation now, I will be creating a new mud puddle in my life.  The hurt will only be bigger if I refuse to forgive waiting on an apology that may never come.   Waiting on another person to apologize is foolishness when we know forgiving them will help the Son heal the hurt.  I need to allow the Son to heal this new mud puddle in order to move on–apology or not.  So forgive is what I do.

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