Deal Breakers

July 25th 2010

I have heard this term several times during the training Mike and I finished yesterday.  A deal breaker is something you absolutely can not tolerate.  It means that you cannot care for a child in your home with the trait, behavior, or history that you term deal breaker.  While training we were made aware of all the possibilities when it comes to children we might care for.  Everything from what the home they are coming from might be like, to how they might behave because of it.  We were trained on how to deal with the ramifications that happen for a child when they are in foster care.  Part of training was to discover what your deal breakers were.  For us there are not so many of those, since we were pretty aware of what we were walking into.  For us the deal breaker with some children is the fact that we have stairs, so a child in a wheelchair would not be able to stay with us.  We were given a list of about 150 different traits and possible child history to give a scale of 0-5 on our willingness to deal with that trait.  There are things on that list like bed wetting, stealing, seizures, deformities, and history of abuse.  For some a deal breaker might be a child who is sick, or a child who lies, runs away, or steals.

All of this got me thinking.  We have deal breakers for a lot of things in our life.  We have deal breakers on whether someone is our friend,  where we shop, many of things we choose to spend our time on, and for some people there are deal breakers with God.  Yes, deal breakers with God.  Have you ever thought to yourself “I would do anything for God, except”?  That except is your deal breaker, the something that you wouldn’t do even if God asked you to.  We have to ask ourselves why we have those, and if having deal breakers with God is going to allow us to be in His will.  I have personally found that when I have said “I would do anything for God, except” I ended up having to do that very thing anyway.  Sometimes not by choice, but by circumstance.  I use to say “I would move anywhere for God except a small town or in the desert”, yet I live in a small town in the desert.  Deal breakers with Go simply do not work.

I challenge you to listen to yourself talk about what you would do for God and see if you ever say except, or even think it.  If there is something reconsider that point, for some day you may end up doing that thing you thought was a deal breaker.  If you do end up doing that very thing you thought was a deal breaker and have never considered God’s perspective on that, you could very well end up angry at Him for forcing you into it.  So reconsider whether deal breakers with God are something You want to have.

Some of you know what my husband Mike and I have decided to do as a family, most of you do not.  Our new adventure started with a conversation something like this:

Me:  Mike there is something I need to tell you.  There is something I have wanted to do for some time, but never thought the timing was right or that we had the space.  Now that we have a house I want us to consider becoming foster parents, and adopting a child out of foster care.

Mike:  That is something I have thought about many times, but I believed it had to come from you so I never brought it up.

Me:  Wow.  I guess we are both on the same page then.

Mike:  Yes.

After that we talked at length about what it would mean and how it would effect our lives, including Bryan.  Our next conversation was with Bryan.  We were very honest with him about foster care and what it meant.  Why children need to be in it and how we could help them.  His response was “That sound like a great idea”.

I then called the county offices and spoke to the person in charge of foster care.  We spoke at length twice.  He told me that their office was going through a transition but that we would definitely hear from him again.  Months went by and we wondered if he had forgotten about us.  Then, just two days ago we got a notice in the mail that another training session has been scheduled.  The amazing part of this is that Mike is off the Saturday it starts;  Mike being off on a Saturday is rare.

Many more things fell into place to help us realize that God’s timing is perfect.  Not only is Mike off that day, we were able to make arrangements for Bryan to stay with my sister in law.  We are going to be able to stay free overnight in the town the training is held, which is 2 hours away.  We then received a phone call informing us we have a refund coming from our title company for several hundred dollars.  This money will help us prepare for our new adventure, as we will need to buy a few things like additional bedroom furniture.  We are also amazed that I now know I will not be having an additional surgery and have more answers in terms of my health.  The timing it takes to put all this together could only have been orchestrated by God.  He has once again shown His sovereignty in our lives.

Mike and I believe that God’s timing is an amazing way for us to see His will for our lives.  When we think something is in His will, but details do not come together, we must always evaluate whether we are on the path He intends for us.  When we believe we are in God’s will and details fall into place perfectly God’s timing is reinforcing for us His will.  This is not the first time we have seen God’s timing revealed in ways that amaze us, yet every time it happens we are in awe of God’s perfect plan.  He is aware of everything, every detail, every decision, every step it takes to make His plan come to action, and He will see it done.  When we see Him act on our behalf through His timing it allows us to see His wisdom and His grace.  Wisdom to know the exact need and grace to allow it to happen for us.

So as we set out on the first step to our new adventure we will continue to seek God for His wisdom and His leading.  We know He desires to give us exactly what we need to accomplish what we have set out to do for Him, we just need to be looking to Him to receive it.

Constant Pain

July 7th 2010

Today is the third day I have hurt.  I can’t describe this, as it is just all over constant body pain.  I have become so accustomed to living in pain every day that it only surprises me when I don’t hurt.  Yet the constant pain I have been in the last three days has simply become overwhelming.

When I was in the midst of my 3 surgeries the pain I had was so severe it is impossible to describe to someone.  What I say to doctors is that on the pain scale of 1-10 childbirth is a 5 to me, despite the fact that most woman would call it a 10.  The worst pain most mothers have been in is nothing near what I experienced during those times.  When I was in the midst of it I was held up by God’s promise of comfort and peace.  No matter how much I hurt I knew He was my sufficiency, He fulfilled His promise to carry me through the fire.  Considering that, I must remember that He is still doing so now.  I can withstand this because He is going to carry me through it.  He will fulfill that promise to me as He does for everyone who belongs to Him.

These promises are made to all who belong to Him, and He will fulfill them if we call on Him to do so.  Regardless of why we are in constant pain, He will answer that call.  His comfort, peace, strength, shelter, and sufficient supply can always belong to us.  When we pray for those things which He has promised He will always answer those prayers, and I will once again do just that so He can carry me through.

Independence Is A Myth

July 4th 2010

Independence Day is when we celebrate the freedoms we have in this country.  To some it is a celebration of our ability to be and do what we want to do.  To some it is a celebration of our individual rights. To others it is a celebration of their own independence, the fact that are not accountable to anyone.

The truth is we are only as independent as God allows us to be.  Though many no longer recognize His sovereignty, He is able to take away all we have, and the independence we so cherish.  God places leaders, and He can remove them at His will.  He builds nations, and can tear them down as He chooses.  Why would He choose to tear down a nation that stands for freedom?

The failure to recognize our dependence on God has allowed our nation to believe that anything is permissible.  Many believe that as long as they think it is right, they are permitted to do it.  Some believe they can be as independent as they desire to be, accountable to no one.  Yet the ability to gain that kind of independence is a myth, because regardless of what anyone might choose to think, God is sovereign over all.  In this sovereignty He can choose to dismantle a nation whenever He wants to.

He has warned of this in Jeremiah 18.  He warns us that He has a plan for disaster against those who are evil and wicked, and that they must turn from their sin.  He is warning that He will choose the outcome of a nation based on their willingness to repent.  He chooses, not us, we are answerable to Him for our actions, despite what anyone chooses to think.  Independence is a myth for we must answer to God, and the failure to repent brings judgment, not freedom.  Freedom does not come from full independence, but from repentance.  For only in repentance will we be free from God’s judgment.