I have had so many tests over the past few days I feel like I am in school again!  Vocational rehabilitation testing is a bit different then that though.  I took personality tests, tests about my likes and dislikes, tests to discover what kind of job environment I desire, and skill testing.  They came in all forms.  Scantron testing, computer testing, one on one testing, and puzzle solving.  My brain was stimulated in ways it has not been for some time.  It was great!

The purpose of all of this?  I want to find a new career.  I loved the career I worked in for almost 20 years, and I cried more the once about having to give it up because I was sick.  I tried to go back to it again over Christmas, but it won’t work, I had to admit that my old career is impossible for me.  Now I need to find a new career, one I will be both good at and love.  I might even have to go back to school, but I want this, I need this.  I cannot simply sit at home on SSDI when I know I am well enough to work, at least in some capacity.

Nearly 4 years after my last surgery something is happening I never thought would.  Something I said more then once I knew would be impossible.  I am capable of, and desire to, go back to work.  Wow, the Lord is good!!  Over 6 years ago I left work so sick, so exhausted, and in so much pain, with no answers as to why.  Nearly 4 years ago I made the decision to have a surgery that would possibly end my seizures, but could potentially have the side effect of affecting me so much I would never be able to work again.  Nearly 4 years ago I made a scary decision I am so glad I made.  Making the decision to have part of your brain removed is not an easy one, but I did it.

I had accepted, to some extent, the idea that I would never have a career again.  I had accepted it in a logical intellectual way, but my emotions never let it go.  Now I have the opportunity to do what I never thought would happen, which is both exciting and scary.

For those of you interested in details, I’ll list a few.  Keep in mind that before and after my surgery I had evaluations to test my IQ which included every part of the intelligence scale.  I lost 14 composite IQ points from the first test to the second, and the Dr. said I probably lost at least 5 prior to that due to the constant seizures.  Here are some results.

-I regained most the IQ points I lost.  Test just before surgery 124, after surgery 11o.  Now it is 127.  Wow, I am blow away.

-My spacial/visual perception and language scores are back up to where they were before surgery.

-My math score is, however, lower.  This is not a surprise though, since I already knew this from using it in daily life.

-My biggest areas of interest, no surprise here, Business Detail and Business Management.  The third area being sales.

I wasn’t expecting any surprises, but was blow away but the change in my overall IQ score.  I had no idea that over time I would regain that.  The brain is an amazing, adaptable, mysterious creation of the Lord.

So with all that information, I will now make a plan for a new career.  Vocational rehabilitation will play a role, and my next meeting with them is on February 29th.  Everyone who knows me well knows once I decide something, I am determined to make it happen.  This holds true in this case, as I am determined to show the world the amazing work the Lord has done for me over the past 6 years.